I’ll open first with my story, and yes, it’s about my little boy !

Last night, as I was charting tunes, I heard Quinn out in the hallway, pseudo mumbling/babbling. I went to check on him, and he was telling me about his broken CD case, and that he needed some help fixing it. So I told him I would take care of it and then I went to take him to his room and that’s when I noticed he had his bedside touch lamp on, and a book spread on his bed. I asked him why his light was on, and he told me (matter of factly) that he needed to turn on his light so he could read his bible. It was super cute, that he turned on his light and was reading, instead of going to bed. An hour or so later, I walked by his room, and saw his light was still on, so I went in. He was passed out, light on, and half lying on his big picture bible. I cherished the opportunity to pull the bible from underneath him, close it, set it aside, and turn his light off. It was so, so cute. . . and that has nothing to do with anything, other than just being a sweet moment with him

Today, I had the opportunity to lay some percussion tracks down at a friend’s studio. I was so excited, to get the chance to chart tunes, load up my gear, and head to music row once again. The last time I had done that was in early february just before I was admitted to the hospital. There’s something extremely refreshing about being able to play again, being able to work, being able to create. When I get the chance to play, like today, I honestly feel like I am beating this thing, and really winning the fight. I feel more normal than almost any other day. I feel alive and vibrant.

Music, playing drums and percussion, are so essential to who I am, are such an integral part of me, that when I can’t do that, It becomes harder to be optimistic, harder to think that I’ll ever be able to do what I was once able to do. When I play, I feel a renewed sense of energy, a renewed sense of courage . . . So to say that today was a blessing, is a gross understatement. It was a breath of fresh air to the soul.

SO, in case you haven’t been following our tweets, or facebook status updates, Yesterday we went to Vanderbilt for Chemo Round # 12. However, once the blood work came back, and we met with our oncologist, we were told that they could not administer chemotherapy to me due to low platelet counts. I have to admit that I was in shock when I heard that. Part of my mind started thinking that this was the beginning of a slow end . . . that by missing chemotherapy rounds, and having to delay it a week means that the cancer would be able to grab a foothold and start to push back. Part of me wanted to burst into tears, part of me wanted to throw a chair across the room and demand chemo anyways (even though it would have been stupid to proceed, as it drummed up a whole other list of medical issues). It was one of the most mixed bags of emotions i have had in a while. I even started to be depressed, and scared, and worried . . .

For now, we are delaying treatment just one week, so next wednesday, we will proceed with Chemotherapy Round #12, and then a CT scan just shy of two weeks later. My stomach is in knots as I type this out, already worried of what the outcome might be on that CT scan due to having to delay treatment . . .

However there is a little silver lining to the whole issue at hand. For starters, most patients on this kind of chemo have to start delaying treatment around round 5 or 6, due to increased neuropathy (sp?) in their hands and feet (which is a tingling sensation that basically feels like your extremities are always asleep. If not kept in check, it can lead to permanent nerve damage in the long run). The fact that I was able to go as long as I have, without having to take a forced break, is truly a blessing, as it has kept hammering away at the cancer. They are going to make a small change to the dosage of one of my drugs, decreasing it by 20% (which freaks me out) so that hopefully we won’t have to skip any more weeks, and there is a good chance that we will not lose any effectiveness of the drugs working together overall. That’s the medical silver lining . . . there’s still hope, even though i feel a gnawing in my stomach that thinks otherwise -

This also means that I have an extra week of “good” feeling family time, and in addition to that, I have picked up some session work for tomorrow (friday), which has me thrilled to no end. There’s a slim possibility of maybe some more work coming in early next week, which if that is the case, I will have lots to keep busy with, and most of all, I get the chance to play again and hang out with some people whom I have not been able to hang out with in a long time. It is a blessing, and it brings an aspect of joy to some otherwise disappointing news.

That being said, please pray for us, for me, that I would not worry so much about missing a week of treatment, that I would trust God implicitly in His plan with all of this (much easier said than done for me right now). Pray that I would also make sure to take advantage of the time this week to spend with wendy and Quinn, and that I wouldn’t try to cram it so full of work and lunch appointments, that I miss out on some amazingly critical family bonding. Thank you so much in advance for your prayers, and for walking with us, especially over the next few weeks with delayed treatment schedules and CT scans just around the corner. Thank you -

It is super late, I just got Quinn into bed, and can still hear veggie tales CD music coming from his room as he falls asleep. Wendy is sacked out, already resting before she heads into work early tomorrow morning, and I am sitting with a very full heart. Full of gratitude for all those who came out tonight, grateful for the artists who played, for the volunteers who helped everything come off super smoothly, for the people who donated items for the Silent auction, for those that donated time and resources, for the countless people whom I had the opportunity to chat with, and how much they encouraged me . . . Wendy and I were talking on the ride home tonight, and we found that we both were leaving the venue tonight with grateful hearts, and with an amazing peace in our hearts.

It is rare, these days, that we both have an incredible sense of peace, and rest, settle upon us as it did tonight. It is also rare that we find that peace to run so deep, that it is restful. Usually one of us will be more ‘level headed’ than the other, or more peaceful about a turn of events, and thus able to help the other on through whatever is going on at the time. Tonight, we both were blessed beyond measure. We found our spirits restored by the community of believers who rallied around us tonight. I found myself with tears in my eyes several times, just amazed at how many people had traveled for the event, had taken time out of their week to be there, and how many were loving on us just by being present. We are so, so grateful . . . yet I feel I am failing at trying to convey how deep, how wide, how immense our gratitude is . . .

Tomorrow morning, we head into Vanderbilt for another round of Chemotherapy. It is daunting, every time. I know that I have several days ahead of me that are going to be incredibly challenging, and incredibly rough, but I am encouraged beyond measure, and I will have tonight to carry with me through these next few days. I will have so many conversations to look back on, so many encouraging remarks to remember, so many memories to help sustain my spirits. God has used tonight to strengthen me for another bout with the drugs this week, and for that, there are no words to explain how incredible it is to be heading into this armed with positive experiences to combat depression, and loneliness.

Thank you again, for your prayers, for being Christ to me and my family, to extending his Grace and Mercy to us by being the body of Christ. Thank you for walking with us. There is nothing sweeter, than having countless brothers and sisters in Christ to walk with you through dark trials – thank you, thank you , thank you . . .

Hopefully you’ve already pre-bought your tickets for tonights’ show. If not, you can still get them at the door tonight for $12. Remember to come early and grab some chick-fil-a, check out the awesome silent auction items, and be ready to grab your seat of choice when the doors open at 6:00 pm!!

For those of you who might live too far away to travel to the show, or are home with sick kids or can’t make it for some other reason, have no fear!! You can stream the concert LIVE tonight online by heading to this page. The pre-show broadcast will start at 6:00 pm CST, and the concert will crank up at 6:30 pm CST. So feel free to tune in, catch the show, and be a part of everything from wherever you may be tonight! We’ll miss seeing you at the show, but are super excited to be able to offer this alternative for you !!

Thanks again, so much, to the countless volunteers who have already started setting up this morning, and for those who are there all day, and the tons of people who will be there tonight helping with parking, set changes, production, sound, the Team Emmett wear table, Silent auction teams and the countless others who are working behind the scenes to make things run smoothly this evening. We are super excited to see everyone tonight, and can’t wait to kick things off!

See you at The Warehouse!!

Stream the Courage to Conquer Benefit Concert LIVE :: 6:00pm CST :: http://video.worshipstream.com/channel/teamemmett

So for all of you planning to come on out to the Courage to Conquer Concert tomorrow night, remember, if you don’t have your tickets yet, today is the last chance you’ll be able to buy them in advance. The pre-sale tickets will end tonight at midnight, and after that you’ll have to purchase them at the door before the show!

Also, remember that starting at 5:30, you can get Chick-fil-a sandwiches for dinner! You can also peruse the great Silent Auction items that will be available in the lobby and even grab your Team Emmett gear before it gets too crazy! Doors Open at 6:00 and things are going to get rolling at 6:30. Seating is General Admission, so first come first serve for your choice of seats.

Wendy and I, and Quinn of course, are all super excited about tomorrow night. We’re gearing up for an incredible evening of music from the amazing lineup that we have. As a side note, We will be streaming the concert LIVE on the web, so for all those who live too far away to travel, feel free to tune in and catch the show LIVE online tomorrow evening at 6:30 CST. We’ll post the link tomorrow for you to be able to find it SUPER easily. and, if you feel like you want to donate while you’re watching you can do so here.

We look forward to seeing as many of you who can make it tomorrow night. We’ll be there for sure, so make sure you say hey !