thank you so much for your prayers. We set out Sunday morning with lighter hearts than we’ve had in a long time. There’s something lovely that happens when I confess struggles. I’m beginning to learn that Satan uses my desire for privacy to defeat me so often. Not that I should dump every crazy thought into the public realm, but real spiritual battles are made so much lighter by sharing them with friends.

We’ve been at Emmett’s grandmother’s farm for about 48 hours now. We’ve picked blueberries, apples, and figs. I’ve made plum jelly, chased ducks, fed birds. As Quinn is now fond of saying, “Mom, you wear me out!” Don’t know where he picked up that phrase…. Emmett even got to get outside last night, as the weather dropped down into the 70s with a luscious wind from an incoming storm. It’s the first time in months that he’s actually enjoyed being outside.

More importantly, though, we’ve rested. I practically fell into bed the first night here and passed out all night. That hasn’t happened in a long time. Emmett has rested well, and Quinn is sleeping like a champ. Emmett is still more tired than usual this far out from chemo, but we’re taking it one day at a time.

Tomorrow we head to Atlanta to drop off Quinn and then go up to Chateau Elan for a night to celebrate our anniversary a little early. We hadn’t planned on doing anything special for this anniversary, but decided that, given the circumstances, every milestone this year should be cause for a celebration.

Pray for Emmett to have continued endurance and progress this week, specifically for him to make it through the wedding festivities this weekend. He has a tendency to push himself too hard and then crash, so I’m praying that he is wise in pacing himself.

Thank you friends for your prayers. Our hearts have felt them since Sunday morning, and we are encouraged by your love. Thank you so much for walking this journey with us.

So this post-chemo week has been really tough in the Stallings’ household. This past Thursday things were looking good. Emmett was able to play at VBS in the morning and evening. He didn’t need much medicine, and was holding strong most of the day. Then we got home. That’s when the vommitting started. Since Thursday life has been rough around here. Emmett has spent a lot of time in bed, and we’ve had to cancel any plans we had. Needless to say we’re struggling both mentally and physically here. Since the doctors put so much stock in how Emmett feels between chemos, we can’t help but associate bad days with lost progress, even though we don’t know for sure.

Emmett is taking an extra week off chemo to attend his little brother’s wedding in Atlanta. We’re supposed to leave tomorrow (Sunday) and be in Atlanta all week. Wednesday, we’ll be taking a shot side trip to Chateau Elan to celebrate our 8th anniversary a little early. While there is some excitement in having an extra week off, it brings with it a lot of anxiety. We’ve been attacking the cancer so hard with chemo, that we’re nervous about taking any time off and possibly losing ground. Add to that Emmett’s slow recovery this round, and the trip is appearing to be more difficult than we thought.

I think we’re reaching a difficult point mentally, as we’re both finding our patience running thin and our spirits pretty low a lot of the time. Emmett isn’t sleeping well most of the time, and it’s a rare day when I get enough sleep. Thursday night Emmett held me while I cried, and tonight I held Emmett while he cried. We’re just weary on a number of levels. Not hopeless, though, just weary. Neither one of us has felt like updating the blog because we don’t have much positive news or encouraging things to say. The idea of long-suffering is very present in our lives right now. There is no end to chemo until God chooses to work a miracle of healing in Emmett, so we feel part way up a long mountain and we don’t know if the end is just up ahead or a long ways off.

Pray for us to have endurance as we run the race that God has set before us. My failures as a wife and mother have been great this week, and Emmett is continually grieved that he cannot do as much to help around the house. Pray that our hearts would be encouraged by the grace of Christ and that we would fix our eyes on the author and perfecter of our faith. Pray for a sweet week with family, for Emmett’s body to bounce back like usual, and for us to be wise about medicating, hydrating, and eating. Thank you for lifting us up in prayer this week. There is infinite beauty and deep, deep pain in being broken before our savior. Pray that we would find joy in the beauty and help in the pain.

So today is Saturday. It’s weird for me, usually I start chemo on a wednesday, finish on friday, and Saturday is the first of about three bounce back days. So I already feel out of sorts, being a day off of my normal ‘routine’ of re-acclimating to life as normal, or as normal as it can be as of late.

I am Thankful for the news that we received, about the tumors on the liver shrinking to roughly half their size, and there was a spot on the outside of my lungs that disappeared, and according to the docs, this also means that the main tumor on my esophagus is also decreasing, and possibly more so than the others. It’s all exciting, and very very good news. At the same time, there is still a long road ahead of me, a long road ahead for my family. I am still faced with the reality that I have cancer every morning when I wake up, and every time I eat, or feel nauseous. It’s pretty intense for me mentally some of the time.

This past week, the good week, we made up lots of ground, as far as stretching times between medicines, instead of four hours, to up to twelve hours between taking meds. A blessing to say the least. We weren’t tied down to having to take meds with us, or planning outings to target or whatnot based on when I needed to take meds. I cannot explain how freeing that was for us. It was a step closer back in the direction of normal pre cancer life, there was a large burden that was lifted from our hearts.

After this chemo, we are taking an extra week off (so two weeks instead of one) so that we can travel to atlanta to see my youngest brother get married. It’ll be the first road trip we have taken as a family since Christmas. I will get to see all of my extended family, and I am sure I will enjoy the time doing something ‘normal’. something that’s a little out of the norm for us here at the house. It will be a great distraction. At the same time, I am a little worried, just in taking that extra week off that I may lose ground, or, that instead of constantly improving between chemo rounds, that I will somehow take a u-turn and the second week will be harder than the first. (sigh) so many thoughts run though my head. I know there is nothing I can do except pray, and take each day as it comes.

I am also super excited about getting the chance to celebrate our 8 year anniversary. We are planning to celebrate a little early, since our anniversary falls the day before my next chemo round. There are so many things happening the next two weeks, it will be action filled to say the least.

well. I apologize for this being a rambling post, but I realized I hadn’t written in a while, and since I was somewhat coherent, I should drop a line and say hello Thank you again so much for your prayers, and your comments. and thank you for walking with us, as this road seems so long, and so wearying. And don’t forget to grab your tickets to the benefit concert !! I am going to be there for sure! and I would love to meet as many of you as are able to make it out!

Thank you so so much for ministering to my family through these rough times -

So in short, it’s good news. Of course you sometimes hope for more than you get, but we’ll take any range of good news that we can. The main concern is the tumors in the liver, and they have shrunk on average to about half their size. Although there is no way to determine the size of the esophageal tumor (imagine making a cross sectional picture of a tubular object from a side view – not really possible), they say that primary tumors usually shrink even more than metastatic tumors. There’s no reason to go in and take a look since the main concern is the tumor in the liver.

So what does that mean?

Well, more of the same chemo since it’s apparently working. Another CT scan in mid September, and much much more continued prayer. Thank you for your love and support. We hope that you will continue to walk with us through these next couple months. Your encouragement means so much.

It’s now officially early Thursday, and we’re still wrapping up Wednesday at the Stallings house after a fabulous night with dear friends. Later today we go in for more news and to meet with our new doctor. I’ll update the blog as soon as we get home and settled tomorrow evening.

In other news, the concert preparation is in full swing. I’ve attached the concert poster below. If you’re interested in attending, please check out the concert link on the blog. Also, if you’re available to help, they still need volunteers in a few places, so email the help@teamemmett.com, and Nicki will get back to you. Thank you again for all your support.